the beginning

well i guess i should just start at where this all started huh. when gage was still a baby he was never much of one to do alot of talking or anything he was always happy doing whatever he wanted and was happy esp when i was with him he made tons of noses but just didnt talk like other babys probably did at his age. his first word was mama and then it was dada and that became his favorite word said all the time for everything. as he got older 1yr to 2yrs old dada was still all he said there were few other ones even as a baby ive heard him say words like no and shoe but never consistant or said more than once maybe twice and i remember when he was 1 around easter he had said happy birthday and asthma (sp) i swear by it and my hubby too, theres been a few words hes said before but nothing ever consistant or said more than one of two times other than dada. dustin was more and more concerned about gage the closer we got to him being 2 and i knew there was nothing wrong with my baby it was in instinct i have had since heck idk since he was anywhere from 3 to probably 6 or 8 months old. to put some comfort in dustins mind i agreed we could see a pathologist and see what could be going on. oh and keep in mind gage is now almost 3 and has NEVER had a single ear infection and has perfect hearing. so sometime around last year in december or so we got one to come and see and by january we were accepted into speech for gage and we started it in the new year. it was tuff in the start they had to figure out how to aproch him to keep him in contact with him. they learned very fast that he was a very very intellegent child and knows how to do anything to not talk. after gage got use to his teachers it became easier and we saw alot more progress. we as his parents had to learn everything he was we started teachign him sign language and he caught on very fast within a day of showing him only a couple of times. we all learned new words to say in sign and new techniqes to getting him to talk some work some arent the best but with tons of working on it does in the end. gage is saying more words now and he says mama again alot more and it pleases my heart soo much im no longer always dada i am sometimes but not so much. not all of his words really sound so clear his "thank you" can sometimes be mixed well combined he will slur them sometimes and his "bless you" sounds alot like thank you but he only says it when you caugh or sneeze. he says "nana" and my mom absolutely loves it even though weve heard gage say grandma before i think he prefers nana :). theres sooo many words he says now but they arent really said on a daily basis but he does say them more than just a couple times, and most of the words he says we just have to take in mind of whats going on at the time. im so proud of how far he has come but having so many of my friends with kids gages age a couple months older or almost a whole year younger than him saying things like i love you mommy or other really cute stuff like i miss you or even saying why they feel the way they feel it breaks my heart even though i really love hearing that from all of my friends and im even proud and these kids arent mine but it really does break my heart, and i always wonder what it is i did and to me you can tell me i didnt cause this i didnt do anything to make him not talk but i will FOREVER think what if or what did i do. right now the only time i get a amazing feeling you other moms get from their child is when i see or talk to my first born whom was adopted when i was in college and she says i love you stevie and her little voice is so precious but it even makes me wish for one day to hear that from gage just to come up kiss or hug me and say mommy i love you then run off. i long for that. gage says love you but its very slured and sometimes hard to make out but i can tell and it melts my heart when he says it even though i have to work to get him to say it alot of times. gage is always amazing me hes a super smart child and a wonderful child even though he hasnt been the best listener these last few months hes the best kid a mom could have but its so frusrating to not know what he wants or how he is feeling. he was just sick last week woke up from nap fussy and we werent sure why he isnt normally sick and it was weird for him to go down for a nap perfectly fine to wake up sick in a matter of 1.5 to 2 hrs. we had no clue what was up until we took his temp and then by 7 he threw up and he got a temp as high as 101.4 first time weve had to handle that and it was soo hard to do we didnt know what hurt or what was going on all he did was fuss which is understandable but hard to deal with. now gage is almost 3 and is getting new teachers which concerns me TRAMENDOUSLY! (sp) gage tends to be shy to certain ppl it took several visits for gage to feel comfy with the women that are having to stop coming for his visists i worry hes going to revert back and i worry about it all weve come a good way and i dont want to lose this gage has made a close bond with these women that normally come and for head start to just do this pisses me off greatly.but gage has a visit on wednesday i think dustin said at 3 soo we will give it a shot dispite how angry i am that this even has to happen (all cuz some principals retires or some crap). although gage has become quite the fast learner with his words lately hes been doing alot more mimicacing (sp, sorry im a  horrible speller and i could care less about worrying where to place periods comas ect.). i have alot of worries and the state of nebraskas head start or whom ever is the cause of this can bet if im not happy they will for sure hear it from me. well im sure this is going to end weird considering i have a ton on my mind about what im missing have said or was going to say but forgot but for now i need to finish stuff around the house and go to bed considering its 1120pm if i dont read and write more tomorrow i will most deff be writing new blogs as his visits happen or i have any news on gage to  update on as for now his visits are 3 times a month just for aheads up, so if you dont hear anything tomorrow or so youll deff hear from me by thursday i get so busy with the both of the kids i dont have a lot of time to post a blog. so im ganna end and say good night update soon :)